There are many reasons why I choose to be alone and I am shifting through them. I will investigate them in time.
Because what matters now is continuing to work on myself and my journey.
To address where I am right now: I am angry.
I’m angry that my olive branch was used to whip me. I’m angry that my invitations were used to paint me wrong. I’m angry that every kindness done for my benefit does not feel kind and only seems to save face for the giver.
So here I am… writing in the white. No one will see this except the unnamed reader. No one will find this and use it against me.
Why public then? What allure does it have? A record perhaps? I’ve always blogged. There’s something familiar about having my words on a blog with no references. Open yet unknown. Visible but lost in a sea of others’ words.
Whether it’s wise or not, here I am. I will be posting.
Stick with me. I will eventually get over this pain and dive back into the dark.